


Gamer

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, First person view, M/M, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Post-Apocalypse, Survival, Violence, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I live in a world in which there is no tomorrow. There is no place for dreams, plans, hopes... Feelings give way to instincts, and most important of them tells to survive. Survive at all cost. Once Tony Stark was a great engineer and weapon designer. His weapons, however, were stolen and used against the world. Now Earth smolders in ruin. Before the disaster XERRA was created, the entrance to the virtual reality. It was never fully finished, unstable rifts hide the secrets.They saying Tony Stark survived the catastrophy. There are people who hunts him down. I am one of them. But life is not easy, and not everything goes as planned.Post-Apocalyptic story with chapters ~





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> There might be a Major Character Death later - I'm still not sure, the storyline is still _raw_.

  
  


_I live in a world in which there is no tomorrow. There is no place for dreams, plans, hopes... Feelings give way to instincts, and most important of them tells to survive. Survive at all cost._ \- Metro 2034, Dmitry Glukhovsky. 

  
  
  


The whole world lies in ruins, mankind are on their edge to extinction. Those who survived were really lucky. Was it luck? We saw how our loved ones died. We were left alone, drowned in our own memories. The weapons which were meant to defend us was used against us. The man, who was an authority for many, had became the cause of this whole disaster. Apparently, he survived and is hiding somewhere in the underground. Many people are looking for him... to kill him and avenge those who died by his negligence. He didn't secure his toys enough, terrorists stole them and then... then there was nothing. There are only ashes and still burning ruins, piles of bodies, irradiated zones, death... Yes, death consumed a lot of souls that day. Missiles were hitting everywhere. I used to think that such things happen only in the movies. _Who we blame?_ \- you ask. Yes, I also think it was all his fault. I also wish his death. We blame Tony Stark. 

Once I was a soldier. I joined the Army together with my best friend, Steve. We were in the same division, only we survived the catastrophe. Miraculously. I lost my hand. The rocket struck close to us, I had no idea what was happening. Someone found us. A group of people. They saved us. They gave me a metal arm as a prosthesis, still can't get used to it. _Is it heavy?_ \- you ask. No, it's not. But I have hard times to control my own strength. After the _accident_ I didn't want to talk to anyone. From time to time I'm going insane, falling into a wild rage. When I close my eyes I see cities full of life, soldiers playing football in the courtyard. Shared meals interrupted by obscene jokes. And then it all breaks down, loud bang, air full of smoke. Buddies with whom I recently drank vodka, dies on my hands. How much I wished it never happened. There is no return to the past, that life will never come back, it's lost forever. 

Still I keep close with Steve. We live together in a small hideout. He helped me to recover, now he's engaged in the production of drugs and poisons. He do anything to pull away thoughts of present time. _How about me?_ \- you ask. For some time I was stealing, then killing. This new world is cruel, you can't be merciful. You can't expose your weak points. What matters is survival. Trust no one and you should be fine. I managed to steal a helm _**Xerra Inclusion**_. Do you know what is this? It's a helm which takes you to the virtual world. Something like Matrix. Have you ever seen the movie? It takes us to the past, to the busy cities where people used to be happy. It takes us to worlds that we create. This is our escape, our drug. Nobody wants to live in the present world. Fate's irony. Helm was created by Stark. He killed our world, but before he did it – he gave us the virtual one. As if he had foreseen everything. I hate him. I swore to myself that I'll find him. And when I'll find him – I'll kill him. 

  
  
  
  
_**Today, we will see the sun in flames**_  
_**Total wast, washing on the wild way**_  
_**Today, everything we thought will change**_  
_**And this life will never be the same again**_  
  
  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNzoRPftYyM  



	2. The Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strongest will survive. One small mistake and your life is over. But you already made a mistake, don't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the first chapter of my 2nd fanfic. Hope it's good. Hope it'll get better.

  
  


_**Listen to my story. This may be our last chance.**_ *  


  
  
  


What would you do to survive? Don't bother, I'll answer for you – you would do _everything_. You can deny it as much as you want, but deep down you know the bitter truth. Doesn't matter how good you were once, or how many coins you threw into beggar's cup. You can try to remain a good man, but after a while all of this will consume you. You will become someone you hated whole life. You will begin to rob the poor and kill the weakest, those are the most vulnerable targets. Then they will haunt you in your dreams, their spirits will try to destroy you and you will be left with two choices – give up and unite with them, or continue to fight. After all, the strongest will survive. 

Yesterday I stole food for myself and Steve. What price I had to pay for this? I killed a mother with a little child. They wouldn't make it anyway, too weak to survive alone in the jungle. It was an act of mercy. At least that's how I explain it to myself. Steve don't know. _He doesn't need to know. I will find a way to make it up to him**_. One day, not now. I'm not a bad man, or so I tell myself. I just want to live, I don't want to die. _No_. I'm lying to myself. I have nothing else to lose, and I'm selfish. I care about myself, and Steve. Rest doesn't concern me. 

I sighed, dropping onto dirty armchair. Carelessly I threw a small package on the table. Herbs that will help in the production of analgesics. It's hard to get it, and on the black market they cost a fortune. Do I gather them myself? - you ask. No, I don't have a clue about herbs, I'm not able to tell a difference between a weed and a flower. In that case, how do I get the money for them? Remember how I mentioned XERRA Inclusion helmet? I'm a _Gamer_. I take part in tournaments. In the Arena. I earn a bit of money there, almost everything I bring home is used on Steve's supplies. Sometimes it's not enough to buy food, so I steal. Sometimes I'm not even able to buy much herbs. In XERRA you can live like you lived before the disaster, but all this is just an illusion. If you die in the virtual world, you will die here too. You need to watch what you're doing. Arena is risky. One small mistake and it's over. 

I reached to the table on the right, XERRA's helmet was lying there. Repeatedly I slid my thumb over the metal casing. Do I really wanted to go there? The more I go to the other world, the worse I say goodbye to him. I don't want to come back to reality. I want to stay there, cuddled up against all those lies. I closed my eyes, slowly put a helmet on my head and lay down comfortably on an armchair. A shiver ran down through my spine, I felt a slight pain in the temples when XERRA stormed into my mind. And then a pleasant female voice echoed around. 

_**\- User detected. Name: James Buchanan Barnes, login - Bucky. All systems online. -**_

Suddenly I found myself in a white room. Everything here was in a single color. Sofa, screens, table, carpet... it was terribly bright although there was no lighting. There were no windows, no doors... Anyone would think it was a trap. It's just a starting program scheme's. The command center, an oasis of peace. Call it as you want. One could, of course, change a little decor, but nobody would be sitting on the start panel when the world is open to him. In front of me appeared a huge screen displaying a map of the last stay, amount of money and my health status. The right side of the map bore the red mark: closed. It was the Arena. They opened it once a week. However, next to the Arena was one of my favorite clubs, always active. 

I smiled slightly and chose my destination. I teleported straight in front of the club from which was coming a loud rock music. I went inside, passing a few people in ballroom masks. Some wanted to be anonymous, while the ones like me – didn't care. No one knew me anyway and even if they did, nothing would change. I wasn't anyone important in their little, rich world. I took an extensive, comfortable couch in the corner. In the distance I saw someone selling cyberdrugs. Several times I wanted to buy them to check how they work, but I gave up. After a while two red-haired beauties came to me. One of them had a mask, but her smile told me that we're not seeing each other for the first time. She didn't speak. Instead, she sat on my knee and stroked my cheek. Overtaking your question – yes. People gathered in such clubs frequently in need of sex. But sex here was not as pleasant as in the real world. It was just an illusion, a substitute. Was I also coming here for _this_? No, at least not anymore. I was coming for information. As has been well known, I took part in the Arena. I had to gain the information about my future opponents, and by the way I learned interesting news from the world. I also tried to track down Stark like this, but my plan failed badly. Some simply closed their mouth, some were leaving. I knew some of them are hiding _him_ , that they're on his side... Why would you pick a side of someone who destroyed whole world? 

At some point, a blonde in the corner of the room caught my attention. He stood with his back against the wall and kept his hands in his pockets, watching everyone. He doesn't fit this picture. Surrounded by athletic, tanned men in masks, he terribly stood out. Pale, milky skin, very light hair, unnaturally bright blue eyes. In addition, he was too calm, too... alert. As if waiting for someone. Suddenly, red-haired, masked beauty, which a moment earlier stroked my cheek - stood up and walked over to him. I watched them warily, they exchanged a few words. It seemed that they knew each other very well. She handed him a card, I noticed the small sign of hourglass on it. Before he left, his blue eyes rested on me for a short moment. A shiver ran down my spine. I didn't like this guy. I felt that we'll meet again. And it won't be pleasant. I wanted to go after him, but before I could do anything I felt a twinge of pain. Short circuit in the system. Female hand tenderly stroked my cheek. For the last time I saw her smile. It got dark. 

I woke up on the floor in our hiding place, drenched in sweat. Above me I noticed a familiar face. My best and only friend – Steve. Despite the pain, I smiled at him. XERRA lay next to me, the cover was slightly cracked. 

"Are you ok?" Steve's worried voice came to my ears. 

"I'm fine," I said, little hesitantly. The world was spinning, my mouth dry as the Sahara. 

"You sure?" 

"Short circuit. Need to check the cables," I mumbled pointing at the helm. 

"We should throw away this crap. It's no good, you spend more time there than here. You will lose yourself like all the rest did." 

"I'll be alright." 

"Bucky... I'm worried." 

"In two days I have a tournament, I get us some money and then I'm done with this." 

  
  
  


"Any news about Stark?" I asked, when everyone were gathered in a dark, cramped room. It was the base for our small association. _Headhunters_. So we called ourselves. There were only a dozen of people or so, and each of us had one goal. Kill Stark. Each of us wanted revenge. Steve had no idea I was stuck in such an organization. He generally knows little. He was convinced that we are on the orders of the city. That we are like the police and prosecute the criminals. Those guys were the ones who found me and Steve after the disaster, they picked us up, injected with some serum, they gave me a new hand... We owe them life. I sat on the edge of the table watching my companions. Nobody here used the real name, everyone had their unique codename. I was the _Winter Soldier_. A woman in green was _Madame Hydra_ , beside her sat _Red Skull_ , further _Taskmaster_ , annoying kid _Loki_ and _Crossbones_. Only so many of us today gathered. And it was the latter who graciously answered my question. 

"There is no sign of him. As if he never existed. They say that he runs an activity on the network, but there's nothing I could find there. It's all just gossip, idle chatter. If Stark is actually alive – in what I begin to doubt – he hides very well," he laughed hoarsely, put his feet up on the table and leaned back in his chair. 

"What activity?" Taskmaster asked. 

"I have no idea, apparently they saying he gather people and try to get into goverment files, but what for, I don't know. The network is full of strange security and mazes. Perhaps there you would find an answer to your questions, but it's dangerous. Mind in network is vulnerable and defenseless. If you die in there, you will die here too. Why unnecessarily expose yourself? Might as well be there's nothin'." 

"So, he gather people... Stark has always had a bunch of allies, maybe if we'll catch one of them we could possibly get some useful information," Madame Hydra suggested. 

"Let's divide into two groups, one looking here and others in the network," it was Loki. 

"And what? You think you will find them? That they even exist? That they will tell you anything? You really believe that? Bullshit." Crossbones laughed loud, he had a lot of fun. He was right... _No. I can't give up now._

"If you won't check, you'll never know," I said, leaving the room. Meeting's over. 

  
  
  


"Please enter your name." 

"James Buchanan Barnes." 

"Registration completed successfully. Welcome to the Arena, Mr. Barnes. Godspeed." 

Woman's hologram created by the holoscreens vanished into the air letting me enter the main hall. It was the room from which you were supposed to enter the Arena. Room where you should focus and prepare yourself for the worst. Everyone had their place in the queue. On one wall hung a board with the results and who is fighting whom. Twenty-two people, five fights for the top prize. All will die today but one. And it gonna be me who will make it. 

You will probably ask me how I ended up in the Arena? Why I kill for money? Why I put my own life on the line? Remember when I told you that I stole XERRA? The guy had no time to use it, all the settings have been selected for me. Virtual world sucked out of me all the memories and achievements. At first I received some offers to take part in sports games, martial arts, I received an invitations to nightclubs and rock pubs. It was a typical entertainment. At some point, I got a weird marked invitation to participate in the Arena, the offer was tempting. A large amount of money, at first I thought it will be enough for both my needs and Steve's. That it'll be enough to live on a worthy level... I was wrong. I had to spend large sums for treatment and equipment. Not much of cash left after. In addition, most of the money went on the herbs and I had to steal... Many times I wanted to withdraw, but I couldn't. It was a cotract. I didn't read it, beguiled by money. I will participate in the Arena, 'till I die. I was good, an ex-soldier, with some super serum in my veins. And we needed the money. So it couldn't go wrong, could it? If I would have died in the Arena then Steve would get the compensation. Money for my death. My life is a small price for Steve's. If he could survive thanks to this... Also... back in the time, I had no idea my real life is so heavy connected to the virtual one. You can say I first do, then think. And then I regret it. 

As I mentioned, twenty-one dies today. In the Arena, and in the real life. Because when you die in XERRA, you die for real. Gloomy, right? Twenty-one is freed from the agony and their loved ones will receive funds to live a normal life for a while. The sum was different in each case, it depended on the progress of the Gamer. The skills. 

At some point a beautiful, red-haired woman approached me. She was wearing a black, tight-fitting outfit and high boots. I really had no idea I can have guests in this room just before the fight. How she got in here? She corrected my jacket collar and bit her lower lip, a flirtatious smile appeared on her face. I knew that smile well, it was the same woman from the club. She only missed a mask now. She always walked towards me like I was someone special. Or maybe she just liked me. In any case, she made me feel a bit uneasy. Oh, and yeah, we slept with each other once. 

"Ready, Mr. Barnes?" she asked, leaning toward me. 

"As always," I answered staring into her green eyes, they were beautiful. "You came to watch how I win?" 

"I've been watching you since the beginning," she whispered into my ear. I froze after this answer. She just winked at me, turned around and left the room, leaving me stunned. It sounded like... a threat. 

  
  
  


Four fights caused me no problems. None of my opponents didn't show off neither cunning, nor strength or anything special. Yes, I was tired and it worked to my disadvantage, we had no breaks between the fights. In the first row of the stands I spotted the suspicious beauty. I didn't know her name, even though... yeah. I knew that she has a tattoo just below the collarbone, I kissed that place many times. But I never saw it in its entirety, she never let me, she always covered it. She is watching me. From the very beginning - as claimed. How much does she know? 

I was knocked to the ground, barely did dodge the knife which stabbed the ground just inch from my neck. That was close. _Focus, Bucky_. I gritted my teeth and hit my opponent's ribs with left fist. He spat blood on my face, again tried to stab me with a knife. Blade scraped against the metal of my left shoulder. Although the fights were virtual, you had the impression that they are true. One could feel the pain, taste and smell the blood... the stench of death. I hit the rock with the back of my head, when I tried to dodge another attack. It dazed me for a second. I felt the blade pierces through the skin on the chest. Quickly I grabbed the wrist of the other Gamer, who literally wanted to stab me in the heart. I had no idea who the hell was he, but he was very good in a fight. He couldn't match my strength, but he was more agile and faster. I pushed his hand away from myself and bent to the side, shattering his bones. He didn't let out a sound, it was disturbing. Who was he? I kicked him in the stomach and knocked over on his back. I sat astride him and blocked the legs so he couldn't get away. Several times I hit his head with my fists, he tried to defend himself but to no avail. When I no longer sensed any movement on his part, when his hands helplessly fell to the ground, I ripped the hood from his head. Delicate facial features, long black hair. The world spun around me. It was a girl. Teenager. She couldn't have more than fifteen years. Not the first child that I killed... The arena, however, only allowed the adults to participate. What was she doing here? She fought for her life as best as she could... She had several scars on her throat. She didn't make any sound, because she couldn't... All this made me sick. 

I rolled to the side and threw up. I wanted to cry. The crowd screamed hapilly. It reminded me of a movie about gladiators in the old Rome. It was exactly the same. Only without rules. Were those people not aware of us dying here? I looked up on the the stands. She sat there, staring at me. The darkness surrounded me. I lost consciousness. 

  
  
  


When I woke up I was still in XERRA. In a soft, clean bed in a small room. Someone stood next to the window and looked outside. It took me a while to figure out that it was the same woman. She noticed that I'm awake, she turned to me and smiled. 

"Good fight, Mr. Barnes," she said, sitting down on a chair next to me. 

"It was a child." 

"Oh, you were killing younger ones," she said. I felt like someone hit my stomach with a fist. How much did she know? Since when she was watching me? 

"Who are you?" I croaked, feeling fear burning me up inside. 

"There's _Almanac Time_ , which will help us fix the world," she continued, ignoring my question. "It's XERRA's twin version. We just need to find it..." 

"Then search for it," I growled trying to keep my tone menacing but it came out quite pathetic. 

"I tried already. I'm not able to do it. But you..." she leaned over me, smiled, placing a kiss on my cheek. "...you will do it." 

"Over my dead body. I won't help you." 

"In the Arena, life is short, you really want to die there? I give you the opportunity. I will erase your data from the Arena, your contract will be canceled. Nobody will remember about this. We will financially support you and also your friend, Steve." 

"In return, I look for some shit? It sounds like selling one life to the devil." 

"Only a little help in the search. We need to locate it." 

"Do you want to fix the world? You shoulda kill Stark before he had a chance to make any weapon." 

"...when someone steals your car and kill a person, is it your fault, or the thief?" she asked, still smiling. "You are a headhunter. You live to kill." 

"Who are you?" 

"Is it important? You didn't care earlier," she said, rolling her eyes. 

"I like to know with whom I'm sleeping." 

"My name is Natasha." 

"You really believe in some _Almanac Time_? You're dumber than I thought." 

"Arena, or help in the search. Your choice," she smiled, again ignoring me. 

"Do I have any choice?" 

"I am glad that we worked it out, Mr. Barnes." 

  
  
  
  
_I'm paralyzed_  
_I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die_  
_And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago_  
_But it's still alive_  
_And it's taking over me - where am I?***_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Final Fantasy X  
> ** - Darksiders: the Abomination Vault  
> . Looks pretty normal, but that quote hides a very important meaning in the book and the fanfic : )  
> *** - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6_ERApZNA


	3. Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Searching for Almanac, looking for Stark and now he has to find a traitor. But... not only this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but it's a bridge to next part, stuff was too long and I had to cut it in half.

  
  
_**Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time.**_ *  
  
  


When I look in the mirror I see a stranger. Emaciated face, sunken cheeks, red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes. When was the last time I slept? I don't remember, maybe a week ago. I have no time to sleep, most time I spend in XERRA, looking for some shit. Then I argue with Steve, I go on Headhunters' meetings, I look for Stark. I eat something, take a quick cold shower and back to XERRA. You have no idea how much Steve got mad when I said I have a _job_ in the virtual world, and from now on I'll be there more often. I hate what I've become. I laughed bitterly, leaving the bathroom. I walked into the room where we slept together with Steve. You can't really call it bedroom... On the table waited for me freshly brewed, hot tea. 

"You should get some sleep," said a voice from the corner of the room. 

"I don't have time for this. I have meeting with our buddies soon," I replied in a resigned voice. 

"You can't skip this one meeting? You're tired, you need to rest," Steve came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "What's happening?" 

"What's happening? Nothing," I removed his hand, reached for a cup of tea and sat on the demolished couch. 

"You should stop looking for _him_. What you're going to do once you find him?" Steve sat on a large armchair in front of me. "Stark." 

"He'll pay for what he did." 

"You'll kill an innocent man, Buck. Headhunters also want his death," he sighed resignedly. "You chase the wrong person. He's not the one to blame for all of this..." 

"Have you forgotten what happened to Peggy?" I snapped looking straight into his baby blue eyes. Pain appeared in them. 

"Think about what you're doing," he said, patting me on the shoulder shortly before they left. 

I overdid it. I squeezed the cup with left hand so hard it shattered into pieces. The hot liquid dripped from my metal hand on the floor. I shouldn't mention it, it was a sensitive subject. Peggy was Steve's fiancee. They wanted to marry soon after we'll come back from the last mission, on which we never went. She had curly dark hair and warm, chocolate eyes. Always made-up and dressed well, she liked big hats and high heels. She was a beautiful woman. She had a sharp tongue, knew how to piss someone off. She always loudly expressed her opinion and was not afraid to tell the truth, no matter how painful it could be. That just worked for her charm. Sometimes I was jealous of Steve, he was so lucky. By the time. Missiles hit the office where she worked. Nothing left of that place, it was erased from Earth's surface. Steve visited that place many times, he had that stupid hope she wasn't at work that day. But she was. She never skipped a single day of her work, even when she was sick. And after all, Steve had the nerve to defend Stark... to say that it wasn't his fault. I didn't understand him. And he didn't understand me... 

  
  
  


When I walked into the room everyone went quiet. I was late. I had to clean up the pieces of the cup and wipe the floor. For a while I was looking for a Steve, I wanted to apologize but he left. It's hard to blame him. Red Skull stood up and slowly walked over to me. He grabbed me by the arm and led to another room. I didn't know what was going on, for a moment I felt pure fear. But... what should I be afraid of? 

"We have a problem," he said, pushing me against the wall. He pressed me against it with his body, his face was just few millimeters from mine, and even from such a distance it was hard to catch his whisper. "We have a spy among us. Someone is working with Stark's people. Someone is his _shield_ " 

"Who?" I asked, unable to believe what I heard. Spy? Among us? Impossible. 

"I thought you could tell me." 

"How am I supposed to know?" 

"Whole days you spend on the network, Stark's people are apparently meeting there. Listen, Soldier. You are one of those I can trust. You hate Stark the most. You have to discover who is the double agent. Let's settle this case _quietly_. I will not tolerate traitors under my roof." 

"I'll find him." 

After that we went back to the others. They gave me curious glances, but said nothing. Which one of them could be a traitor? Madame Hydra? No, it's not possible. I didn't know her very well, but I highly doubt she works on two fronts. If not her, then who? Taskmaster? It would be likely, the guy seems fishy. Always ask a lot of questions, and gives too little information. He was here for some unknown reason, probably for his own satisfaction, but who knows? Maybe he wanted to prove something to someone. I'll keep an eye on him. In the corner of the room I spotted Crossbones, he looked bored. This guy was the weirdest one, but I found it hard to doubt his loyalty. He brought us a lot of messages from the network and from the area where he lived. Basically he was our source of information. He respected no one and walked his own paths. He made a plane from piece of paper, and threw it in another corner of the room. It hit Loki. How this kid got here anyway? He was maybe seventeen, apparently he joined by himself. Came out of nowhere. He was loud and obnoxious. I'll have to keep an eye on him as well. 

I sat apart from the rest and reached for the reports on the table. These were mainly crookedly drawn maps. Street names, several names of our targets, pictures. Some were crossed out. That meant, they were already dead. Probably Stark's allies, who have fallen into our hands. I didn't know these people, although some of them I've seen around the area. I glanced sideways at Loki, who sat bored and played with a pen. Yes. Now I had another job to do. More and more tasks to do and not enough time. I haven't found anything about the Almanac of Time. I haven't found a trace of Stark. And now I look for traitors, which probably I won't find. I sighed, closed eyes and leaned back on my chair. After a while I felt someone's rough hands on my face. Reluctantly, I glanced at the intruder, which turned out to be Crossbones. He leaned over me. 

"Could Loki be a traitor?" he asked in a whisper, pointing at the brunet. 

"How do you know about the traitor?" I replied with a question. 

"The walls have ears. Overtaking your question. Yes, I was eavesdropping. I wondered why the big boss calls you in for a chat," he laughed, hugging my shoulders. I didn't like to be touched, but I forced myself to ignore this fact and slipped my hands into trouser pockets. 

"You think it's him?" 

"Don't you think he's too stupid for this?" my companion laughed again and pulled away from me as soon as Red Skull entered the room. Before Crossbones left, he winked at me. What was that supposed to mean? 

  
  
  


"Did you find anything relevant?" that was the first question I was asked when I met with the beautie. It was a few days after my conversation with Red Skull and Crossbones. By this time I tried as best I could to accomplish my tasks and by the way do not worry Steve. Needless to say, I wasn't even able to get closer to my goals... 

"No." 

"I thought you'd be more effective," she sighed brushing her hair with tall fingers. She wasn't wearing a mask today. I had mixed feelings about her. On the one hand I wanted to throw her on this table and rip her clothes apart, but on the other hand... well, I wanted to strangle her and never see her again. I felt excitement and disgust at the same time. 

"I thought I'll get more information of what exactly I'm looking for," I grumbled toying with a glass of alcohol. We were in a rock club, as usual. In a secluded, dark corner of the room. 

"You look for Almanac," she laughed and gave me a look as if I didn't understand a poor joke. 

"Useless information," I looked at her seriously. She mocked me? 

"I can't give you the details. Really no one heard of Almanac? _No one_?" she asked in a resigned voice. "So we have nothing..." 

"You don't trust me," I finally said. 

"You don't trust yourself, why would I? You'll go into the maze, to LIMBO. Maybe there you'll find something." 

"LIMBO? What's that?" 

"You can say it's a network's _hell_. Full of system's errors, but also full of information. This is a dangerous place, but you... you are quite... unique," she stressed the last word and gave me a smile. "You heal very quickly, never get sick, you have superhuman strength and speed... Yes, you'll do." 

It scared me how much she knew about me. I couldn't hide anything from her, she was reading me like an open book. Nobody except me, Steve and headhunters didn't know about the serum that was injected into us. Or so I thought. In addition, I didn't know what I'm looking for her, but she saved my life so I was in her debt. I played another game. In this one, the rules were not entirely clear. She threw a card on the table. The same that I saw at the club the other day. She gave it to that strange type with blue eyes. In the corner was a symbol of an hourglass. 

"This way you'll get to LIMBO," after these words she stood up and left. 

So that guy was also looking for this Almanac. Why else she would give him the card into a maze? I finished my drink and be logged out. I'm not going there today. 

  
  
  
  
_**Stars are only visible in the darkness**_  
 _ **Fear is ever-changing and evolving**_  
 _ **And I, I feel poisoned inside**_  
 _ **And I, I feel so alive**_ **  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Ransom Riggs   
> ** - Imagine Dragons - Battle Cry : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZtMHSOq50Q
> 
>  
> 
> The betrayer is closer than you think...


	4. Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LIMBO looks exactly as described. Hell online.  
> He finally found out who is the traitor... or maybe he is wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIMBO was hard to write, but I wanted Bucky to run through it with _little_ help. 
> 
> And finally we meet Tony Stark. But how will it end?

  
  
  
_F-E-A-R has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise._ *  
  
  


I went there the next day. To LIMBO. I inserted the card to a reader on my XERRA starting panel. Teleportation was sudden and painful. The world spinned around me and I fell to the ground. When I got up I saw the fulfillment of my worst nightmares before me. Everywhere was dark, the sky was bleeding, whole place was packed with tilted sideways skyscrapers, the ground was littered with bones, to the right stood damaged and rusty carousel, next to it lied ripped teddy bear... there was a dead silence, broken only by the whining wind. The wall of the buildings were half covered with bright neons and higher above them appeared and disappeared strange inscriptions. Hell in the network, they couldn't find better name. What should I expect here? 

Hesitantly I made a step forward. The inscriptions on the wall were inviting. _Come to me. Closer. Yes. Come here._ It was probably the first time I was so scared. Even my first mission in Afghanistan wasn't so frightening. I couldn't even tell that it wasn't really happening. It was a network, but my life was at stake. All of this was as real as our reality. I walked towards the narrow alleys full of neon signboards. Ground was covered with a dense fog. After a while I heard some whispers. I turned around immediately, but no one was behind me. I looked around, the place seemed abandoned and empty. I was all alone here. _Get a grip, Bucky. It's probably the wind playing tricks on your mind._ I couldn't let the fear to overcome me. This place is no good. Something dark lives here. I leaned back against the wall and took a few deep breaths. Then I felt something on my shoulder, I glanced down and saw someone's pale hand. But before I could turn around I was pulled into the building through the wall. Suddenly I found myself in a strange room. Faint red light lightened the darkness. From the hallway I heard someone's laugh. I took a last deep breath and went in that direction, behind my back I heard the sound of a music... and footsteps. In front of me I saw the door, without thinking I ran towards it. I threw myself at them and found myself on the other side. I fell on hard, rocky ground. A bright light blinded me, so I squeezed my eyes shut. Sand got into my nose, coughing I tried to get up on my feet. With difficulty I opened my eyes, the sand began to fall back on the ground. _What I saw?_ \- you ask. A total wilderness. Dark desert. Here and there bones were sticking from the ground, as well as huge stone blocks. Black birds suqawked, flying in circles on a gray sky. They didn't remind me of any bird I knew from the real world. Those were big creatures with sharp claws and red eyes. I looked back, but the door through which I came here, disappeared. Instead, I saw the abyss. The old, wooden bridge lead to the other side. _How to get out of here?_ I found myself in some long-forgotten depths of the system. After a while I got up from the ground and unsteadily headed ahead. Birds perched on one of the stone blocks and watched me curiously. I fell a little unfortunate because the ankle of the left leg hurt terribly, not letting me walk properly. Probably was broken. But I couldn't stop, I couldn't stay here. _If I stay here, I'll die._

I don't know how long I was walking ahead, maybe a few hours, maybe a few days... maybe weeks. It was hard to keep going, to force my own legs to move. Black birds were following me for a long time, hoping for an easy meal but I could no longer hear or see them. They might just hide somewhere. I was tired and hungry and I wanted to drink. Although all this was online, it was true. I could die, be burned, lose eyesight or limbs, anything could have happened. I tripped over a stone sticking from the ground and fell. I hit the hard ground with my cheek. The voice in my head kept telling me I should get up and go on, but I no longer could. I felt powerless, tears filled my eyes. _I won't make it._

Somewhere nearby I heard shuffling, something smacked my arm. Birds? But for some time I haven't seen or hear a single one, have they really stopped following me...? I heard a snort. _Horse._ What a horse was doing here? I brought myself to a sitting position and raised my head. Yes, it was a horse. But his appearance chilled my blood. He was... dead. Pale skin and muscles hanging from his body, white ribs stuck on the outside. The hooves were cracked and enveloped with a green fire, same as his mane and tail. The same fire also filled his empty eye sockets. I could feel the strange smell of a dead flesh. His back carried a massive saddle from which dangled strange-looking skulls. They were not human, those were smaller and had horns. He snorted at me, burying one hoof in the sand. After a moment he pulled away and stood sideways shaking his bony head towards the saddle. Fear and doubt crawled under my skin, but I had no other choice. I had to trust this strange creature, otherwise I would have died here. I got up and climbed on the saddle, trying to to fall back to the ground. When I grabbed the steel chains, horse moved slowly, confidently. I've never ridden a horse, and certainly I haven't had contact with a dead animal, but I was too tired to pay attention to it. His calm movements put me to sleep few moments later. 

I thought that I will wake up in the house where I lived together with Steve, that this nightmare will be over... that this horse will somehow take me home, to the safe place where I'll logout. I was wrong. I found myself at the gates of the huge, gloomy castle. The animal stood patiently in place and waited until I wake up. _We're here... Means where?_ I slid from the saddle and with pleasure I noticed that my leg had already healed. In that case we had to wander around a good couple of days and I slept all the time. I walked over to the huge brass gates, their height was ten times higher than me. I was afraid of what I might find on the other side. I looked back, the horse was no longer there. Instead, I saw a wide stone bridge and wilderness behind it. There is no way back, moreover, why would I go back? To what? I raised my hand with the intent to maybe knock, but once I touched the door, they opened themselves. I stepped inside and found myself in the great hall, ahead in the distance I saw a descending elevator. It was terribly dark, lightened somehow by flaming torches on the pillars. On one wall I noticed the inscription, the same I have seen in that strange city. _Come closer. Closer. Bucky... you're almost here._ The elevator came back on its place. Once I stepped on it, it immediately began to fall down. It descended deep into the underworld, from which there was no escape. 

At the bottom, several miles below the surface, I stood before the next gates. These, however, didn't help me pass. I pushed them with all my strength and squirmed through the gap. I found myself on a narrow path leading down. All around was dark as fuck. Further down, way lead to hell. Fuck. I went back to the elevator, but despite waiting for several minutes it didn't move up. So I could only go down. _Why I didn't log out?_ \- you ask. It would be too easy. I couldn't do it. I had everything locked, the connection between LIMBO and reality was lost. It was my do or die. Either I will fail my mission here, or finally reach my destination. 

So I walked down a strange path, on both sides was a chasm. _One misstep and I'll go down to meet with Death._ The way was quiet, there was a dead silence, broken only by my loud heartbeat and breathing. And the rumbling in my stomach, I was still hungry. I wasn't walking down for long, maybe several minutes and there, before me, another door appeared. Ordinary, wooden with a handle. It was a strangely pleasant change after all. Before I pulled the handle and went inside, I heard a whistle. 

I found myself in an abandoned, military warehouse. Against the wall I noticed a strange machine, it was turned off. The roof of the warehouse was half broken, the floor was littered with its pieces. And under those pieces, rotting bodies of some people. _Where am I?_ I walked over to the machine skipping the lying bodies. Big screen was shattered, burned cables sticking out of the holes. It looked like a center system of long-range weapons. I've seen this in our military base, but no one has ever used them. We kept them just in case of _war_. They were used only for testing and presentation in the wilderness. All these toys were obviously made by Stark. In the corner of the machine, I saw a sign of the hourglass. Almanac... _**THIS**_ is the mysterious Almanac? One thing was certain, the equipment doesn't have logo of Stark Industries. It couldn't be a weapon then. So what is it? Next to the machine there was a settee with a strange steel helmet at the wall. On its sides dangled leather straps. If I were crazy I would consider it a military machine used for brainwashing. And maybe it was... But it was broken and I had no idea about repairing such stuff. Could it even be repaired? I had a lot of questions and no answers. The device on my wrist squeaked happily, announcing that I regained connection with the real world. Without thinking twice, I immediately logged out. 

  
  
  


Another fight with Steve knocked me out of balance, and for no reason I went to Headhunters base. At this time no one was there, everyone were busy searching for their own stuff. I could sit alone and think peacefully. I didn't know what to do now. It's been a long time since I began my missions and I didn't achieve anything. Does my recent discovery brought me any closer to my goal? Was it really an Almanac? But what is this for...? What if it wasn't the thing I'm looking for? What will happen if I fail? Will I go back to the Arena, or perhaps a beautiful red haired woman will cut my throat? If it gonna last longer, Steve will kill me with his overprotection. I pulled a small notebook out of my pocket and began to write down all the information that I was able to gather lately. First, I got a card to LIMBO. Second, I have spent in the depths of the network almost three weeks and I don't have anything specific. Third, mysterious woman called Natasha knows more about me than I do myself. Fourth, Almanac... I think I've found it, but what is this? A weapon? A device to control the missiles? Brainwashing machine? Maybe something completely different? Or maybe it wasn't even that. A bubble gum or condoms can have a hourglass logo too, this doesn't mean a thing. Maybe Almanac is some sort of old and full of holes couch. There is always a possibility someone is having a great fun making me look for something that doesn't even exist. _Hell no, Bucky. It had to be that machine._ How about all these worlds I have visited? This whole LIMBO thing? Where did it all come from? That horse... I still can feel his weird smell in my nostrils. Fifth, when I came back to reality Steve was waiting for me. He raged, screamed and cried. He burst into hysteria and I couldn't calm him down. If Almanac can really fix the world, it could start from my own life. 

I sighed, combing hair with my fingers. I noticed something glitters on the chair in the corner of the room. Phone. Someone forgot to take it. Reluctantly, I reached for the object. Someone got the message. I carefully checked the phone, on its back I saw a badge with a skull and crossed bones. _Crossbones._ Why I'm not surprised? Soon he'll forget his own head. I put the phone into my pocket and left the quarters. I've decided to find him to give him back his property. He shouldn't be far away, the battery was almost full charged. Where he could be? All around were ruins. Somewhere nearby should be a brothel. Even after the apocalypse oldest profession in the world had the demand. Tho, he couldn't be there, could he? I laughed. _Checking won't hurt..._ When I was at the corner of a dark alley near to the brothel, Crossbones' phone started ringing. _JARVIS._ And who is that? The first time I see such a nickname, obviously it couldn't be a name. I didn't want to pick it up, trust me. In the end, it wasn't my business but curiosity prevailed over reason. I put the phone to my ear, but said nothing. I didn't have to wait long for JARVIS to speak. 

"He is injured. You have to help me. You have to come here now! Save him!" voice was male and shaking, filled with fear. It bothered me. Could it be Crossbones' friend? Fuck. 

"Where?" I just asked. I had no time to look for the owner of the phone, I might not make it in time. Instead, I could help his friend, and in this way he will owe me one. I had a few questions about the network and desperately needed answers. One way or another. 

"Ah, yes. We have changed the hideout. We are now in the basement of Stark's Tower. Entrance is by the ruined corridor from the north. He's bleeding... Please, hurry!" the voice on the other side broke, and for a moment I stood in a place like rooted. Then I ran in the direction I was told. 

What I expected to find there? I don't know. Perhaps the ruins? The tower was intact, as if it had no idea that the whole world fell apart. I never visited this place before, other Headhunters were searching for Stark here, but found nothing. On the one hand I was full of admiration for this construction. On the other hand... it scared me. The only building that survived the bombing. In addition, there was dead silence all around. It looked like those horror movies that I liked to watch. It felt like it happened ages ago. I think I'd rather sit in front of TV and eat popcorn than to participate in all of this. _Ruined corridor from the north._

Indeed, on the north side there was a _corridor._ It looked like a long forgotten entrance to the underground garage. Perhaps the whole structure was not so indestructible. _Corridor_ was wide, illuminated by red emergency lights. I heard a voice coming from his other end. I followed it. You won't believe who I've found. The guy from the rock club in XERRA. He was walking among few, expensive-looking cars. Pale skin, blond hair and piercingly bright eyes that rested on my person. They were terrified, the man immediately stood on my way and spread his arms. I think he expected someone else. I had a strange feeling that he knows exactly who I am. 

"What are you doing here? You need to leave. Now," he said with a cold voice. I pulled a phone from my pocket and waved with it at him. 

"You needed help, so here I am," I said calmly, stepping closer. "You said that someone is bleeding. Do you have a first aid kit? I know how to treat simple wound." 

" _You_ cannot help him." 

"You're the guy from the club," I changed the subject, looking at his face. He was... odd. In addition, just now I noticed that his person emanated with a faint glow. "Who are you hiding? Move." 

He didn't move, so I pulled my hands ahead. I wanted to push him away... I wanted to, but my hands just flew through him. _Hologram._ Who the fuck is he? That's the... JARVIS? I looked at him wide-eyed and frowned. I have never encountered anything like this. Am I still in XERRA? What is this sorcery? The guy had a determined expression on his face, if he could he would kick me out of here... If he could... but he couldn't. I took a step forward and went through him like he wasn't even there. _A ghost._ Hologram faltered briefly, but then returned to its form. Guy turned to me and began pleading in a broken voice. 

"Please, leave this place. Where is Brock?" 

"Brock?" _Who the fuck is Brock?_ "Crossbones?" 

And then I heard a muffled groan full of pain coming from behind one of the cars. JARVIS was horrified, he tried to block the way once again, but I ignored him and followed the direction from where the sound came. Behind the car I found dirty, dark blue couch. And there lay a lad, all bloody. He was lying on his side with his face cradled in the pillow. His whole forearm was swollen and tightly wrapped in some rags, his body was shaking. Sweat trickled down his forehead and he was delirious, probably had a fever. JARVIS kept repeating his pleas behind my back. I sat on the edge of the couch and turned the boy on his back, I brushed the wet hair from his face. And then I understood why the hologram wanted to throw me out of here. On the couch lay none other than Tony Stark himself. He looked much younger than once shown on the news. A thousand thoughts flew through my head. Crossbones' phone, that request for help... Crossbones was a traitor? I would suspect everyone but him... I felt hatred boiling inside me. I don't even know when my left, bionic hand ended up on victim's throat. Metal fingers closed tightly on his skin. _This is all your fault, Stark. The whole world lies in ruins, so many people have died... But finally I've found you, that's a game over for you._ I didn't say a word, although I wanted to shout in his face how much I hate him. First, I'll kill him, and later I'll deal with Crossbones... with _Brock._ Because that's his name, right? I felt a tremor beneath me, Stark tried to catch a breath. He grabbed my metal wrist with his fragile hands, but he had no strength to defend himself. He opened his eyes and looked at me, tears ran down his cheeks. 

"Goodbye." 

  
  
  
_**So this is how we break**_  
_**And this is where we find the only hope within this place**_  
_**Where angels fall and darkness reigns**_  
_**Where time dissolves the brightest flame**_ **  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Zig Ziglar  
> ** - Demon Hunter - The last one alive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZyE9QApvEU
> 
> LIMBO is made of pieces from the games: Devil May Cry 5, DeadCore, Darksiders 2, and FFX-2.
> 
> Will I kill Tony?


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a small house with a little girl and a dog in middle of destroyed world...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are very irregular, I know, all depends on my mind's form. Sorrreeeh
> 
>  
> 
> Well, Bucky still need a guidance.  
> Do you even know what you're doing? What is your plan?

  
_The thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it's gone. I mean, you may think to yourself that you're happy. But you don't really believe it. You focus on the petty bullshit, or the next job, or whatever. It's only looking back by comparison with what comes after that you really understand, that's what happiness felt like._ *  
  
  


_...when someone steals your car and kill a person, is it your fault, or the thief?_

_You'll kill an innocent man, Buck. You chase the wrong person. He's not the one to blame for all of this..._

  
  


I looked straight into the brown eyes, life was escaping them. He knew exactly what was going on, he knew he was dying. _Have I made a mistake?_ Steve will never forgive me, when he finds out. _Innocent._ I loosened my grip and let Stark to breathe greedily, and then I withdrew my hand. I should take him to the Headhunters hideout. No. That would only delay the execution. Why I won't strangle him then? Relieve him from suffering... Whole hatred in me vanished within a few seconds. I sat on the edge of the couch and stared blankly at him, at my worst enemy, not knowing what to do. Phone belonged to Crossbones. JARVIS was calling him, he asked for help. JARVIS got the card to LIMBO just like me. Card was coming from red-haired beautie. That woman saved me from the Arena and made me work for her. It's all connected... I didn't understand... 

"Where's the first aid kit?" I asked, but my own voice seemed distant. JARVIS had to be in shock, 'cause he didn't answer for a long time. 

"In the cabinet, on the left side of the desk in a corner." 

I left Stark for a moment to bring a first aid kit. It was small and its contents also weren't impressive. _It's not enough._ Really I was going to help him after all of this? I stopped in front of the couch and moved my gaze from kit to Stark. He was in the same position in which I left him, watching me. Fear filled his eyes. Silence was disturbed by sudden bang, the floor shook. I looked around, but saw nothing. Earthquake? No. 

"They are here. Please... I beg you, take him with you. Hide him, don't let him get hurt. Help him, he is our last hope," JARVIS pleaded, standing at the back of the couch. " _Please..._ " 

"Who are _they_?" I asked, still looking at Stark. He was already one foot in the grave, how can I help him? Why would I do that? Why I won't kill him? I threw a first aid kit on his stomach. I slipped one hand under his knees and with the other I embraced his shoulders, picking him up. Although I lost weight and a lot of strength, Stark seemed to be light as feather. He looked at me suspiciously, he was afraid, didn't know what he can expect from me. "Doesn't matter. Any other way out of here?" 

"It's on the ground floor, you will get there through emergency stairs right by the elevator..." JARVIS ran to broken glass doors. I followed him. He didn't come further though. I frowned at him. "I'll try to stop them somehow. They're the terrorists, the same who stole the weapons and blew up half the world." 

"You're only a hologram, how you want to stop them?" 

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve..." 

  
  


When I got outside I heard an explosion. Fire filled the emergency exit from which I came. For a moment I stood in place, doubt crawling under my skin. Will this whole JARVIS be ok? Well, I knew it was just a hologram, but still... _Why I'm worrying about him?_ I glanced down at the man I held in my arms. Either he fell asleep or lost consciousness. He looked so peaceful it was hard for me to believe that because of him, the world now looks as it looks. He rested his head on my shoulder, lightly frowning and moving his lips. His cheeks were flushed, fresh beads of sweat gathered on his forehead and under his eyes there were dark circles. Still trembled, he had a severe fever, in addition terribly smelled of blood and pus. His arm didn't look too good. This first aid kit won't help in anything, he could use a doctor. I won't find a doctor anywhere now, I can't even ask Steve for help. Stark can't stay in this area, they will find him. _Just kill him, he won't make it,_ said the voice in my head. I gritted my teeth and took a step forward, then another and another. I turned off the thinking and let my own legs lead the way. 

I found myself in front of the pharmacy's broken window. Tentatively, I looked around, we were still in the Headhunters area. Seemed I was alone. I crossed the broken door and walked in. _The shelves were almost empty, but I might find something useful..._ Carefully I put down Stark on the table and began to search through drawers. Some were tightly locked, but it's no challenge for me to open the lock, right? I gripped the edge of the drawer with my left hand, the wood immediately cracked, revealing its contents. I found there a set of syringes and three bottles of morphine. I also managed to find two packets of bandages, a few packs of different tablets, sponge, surgical pliers and a knife. This should be enough for a while. Later on I'll worry about the rest. I packed all the found items to a small first-aid kit, which still lay on Stark's stomach. He shouldn't die on the way, should he? I had to find some shelter. I couldn't return home. I took a deeper breath, wondering where I could go. _Best would be to run away from city._ I didn't have transportation. It seemed more real. I touched a flushed cheek of the other man with a back of my hand. _Your life is in my hands now._

Outside, it started to get dark, that meant I had to leave this place. I put a hood on Stark's head and took his frail body in my arms. First-aid kit - this time stuffed with items - I put on his stomach. So I walked. Being completely honest - I didn't know how long I was walking ahead. Probably it was quite a long time, my legs were shaking and I began to stumble. In addition, the muscles of my right hand ached and trembled from the effort. I didn't recognize anything around. _Where am I?_ I passed the half-demolished buildings, car wrecks, decaying bodies or chewed bones. Surely in old, good times I came here often, maybe I was close to central park. Maybe. Back in the days I'd cross the same distance ten times faster, but now it was a challenge... You had to avoid rocks, and ruins, some ways were blocked by stone blocks... 

It got damn dark, cold, and on top of that, it started to rain. The legs buckled under me and I fell to one knee, swearing loudly. I pressed Stark to myself like a greatest treasure, so I wouldn't drop him on the rocks. I felt the cold sweat from his forehead on my neck, I heard his quiet muttering. I wanted just to lie down and go to sleep, I was tired. When was the last time I slept? Can't remember. Ahead I saw a shadow of someone's silhouette, standing at one of the street lamps. The first thought that came to my mind was that one of the Headhunter found me. He followed me from Stark's tower, waited 'till I get weak enough to take me down easily. He will kill Stark and me with him, for treason. At least we won't have to fight for survival anymore, he will recover from the fever and I'll be released from my missions... I could always try to explain I was taking Stark to our hideout... just took the wrong way and went in opposite direction. _I can still fight, they won't take my skin easily._ I put Stark's legs on the ground and reached into my pocket for a knife. 

"Put the knife back, my friend. I won't hurt you," I heard a female voice. The shadow moved and came towards me. "You look like you need help." 

I didn't speak, I didn't hide knife either. Before me stood a young girl in a long jacket with a hood. She had brown, long hair and green eyes. She carefully watched my movements, but showed no fear. Cautiously and slowly she moved closer and crouched in front of me. I pulled out the knife in front of her, I didn't know what she wanted from me and who the fuck is she. She didn't look like someone from the Headhunters, but Loki also stood out... She was young, maybe fourteen... but that girl on the Arena was young too... 

"Your friend looks sick. I have a shelter five minutes away from here. It's not great but at least rain is not dripping on head. I won't hurt you, I promise," she explained, tilting her head to one side. "You have a metal hand? Cool! Are you running away from someone?" 

"Not your business," I snapped, still not being convinced about her intentions. But I slowly lowered the knife and put it back to my pocket. 

"I also have some food," she smiled weakly and held out her hand to me. "My name is Wanda." 

"Bucky." 

  
  


A few minutes later we were indeed in a small house. At the door we were greeted by Samoyed, white as snow. I looked around, despite the cataclysm on the outside, the interior was neat and cleaned. Here and there the windows were shattered, and holes were covered with cartons. Candles replaced the lamps. The fireplace burned a fire. One thing, however, was disturbing, I didn't notice presence of anyone outside this little girl. 

"You live here alone?" I asked, gently placing Stark on the couch. I put a pillow under his head and opened the first aid kit. I had to treat his wounds. 

"With Pietro," said the girl before she dissapeared in another room, the dog followed her. 

"And Pietro is...? Your father? Brother?" I gently removed the rags wrapped around Stark's arm, I saw two bullet holes. _They shot him._ The wound was livid, swollen, abscessed and yellow, white meat painfully protruded out. It looked like an infection. _I'll begin with this arm and check the rest after._ I pulled a bottle of morphine out of the first aid kit, together with syringe. I didn't want to prick with needle around the wound, so I injected him with a substance in the neck. I looked at the arm around and noticed that only one bullet passed through. The second was still inside. I glanced at Stark's face, which for the first time was devoid of clear signs of pain. Morphine started to work. Before I noticed, Wanda came back and put plates with a soup on the table, she also brought a bowl with boiling water. I heard rumbling in my stomach, I bit my lower lip. 

"Pietro is my dog," she smiled at me, and the animal sitting next to her leg barked cheerfully. "Eat, wash your hands, and then fix your friend. Then feed him, too." 

I did as I was told. The soup was delicious, full of vegetables and long-forgotten flavors. This reminded me about life before the disaster. It all seemed so unreal, I was afraid I just fell asleep on that heap of stones and will wake up soon, barely alive. Or won't wake up anymore. How it's possible that a child alone with a dog could live in this world? I finished my meal, glanced at her and wanted to ask about it, but she raised her hand and started to answer the unspoken questions. 

"Once I lived here with my older brother, but he was killed during the bombing. I found a wounded dog and took him with me, called him Pietro - after my brother. If you want to know from where I take vegetables - I have a small garden on the floor in the room above us. We're fine, people from neighborhood, the ones who survived, are helping us. Now everyone should help each other, we live in bad times..." she stroked the dog's head and gave him a treat. She was extremely mature for her age. "I'll make you something to drink. Tea?" 

"Yes, please," I replied dipping my hands and a sponge in a hot water. I pulled out the surgical pliers out of the packaging and washed Stark's wound carefully with a sponge. Grimace of pain appeared on his face right after I slipped the pliers into the bullet hole. His hand trembled so I pressed it with my knee to the couch. I had to remove the bullet. It took me a while to catch a piece of steel to pull it out, before I managed to do this I was sitting on Stark so he couldn't move an inch. I knew it hurt him, but I had to pull out this crap and clean the wound. I doused it with alcohol diluted in water. I had nothing to sew up the wound, but Wanda came with the help and brought scalded needle with an ordinary thread – she also brought hot, raspberry tea. She had nothing else than this, but it's always something. At the end we applied some magic cream around the wound and then we wrapped his arm in new bandage. I removed Stark's jacket and tore the remnants of his shirts, which was in bad shape anyway. Then we saw the bulky patch on his chest. It was dirty, bloody and sweaty. Carefully I caught the edge and tore it of the skin. But I wasn't prepared for what I've found there. He had some strange... mechanism attached to the chest. It shone a bright blue light. It was active and working. _What is this?!_ If I were insane, I would think that it was a bomb. 

"Your friend run on the batteries?" Wanda asked, standing over me. Pietro barked beside her, he also seemed surprised. I touched a strange mechanism with my fingertip, but then I got hit on the back of my head. "Don't touch! You'll break something." 

I didn't touch it anymore, I just put a clean patch on it. Then we washed him from dirt and blood and dressed into fresh clothes, which once belonged to Wanda's brother. Then she sent me into the shower and somehow fed still unconscious Stark. I must admit that I felt strange. For the first time I felt... alive. I forgot about everything for a short moment, I simply let the water to wash away all the dirt. On body and soul. I forgot about Headhunters, about Stark, about war, all the missions and death... Again I was happy guy from Brooklyn, who visited all the clubs together with Steve to flirt with girls. I sighed, leaning back against the cold wall of the shower. 

When I returned to the living room, Wanda prepared mattresses and clean sheets next to the fireplace. I walked over to her, still wiping the hair with a towel. Pietro barked happily and wagged his tail at me. It all seemed so magical... so... unreal. Chaos outside, world came to its end, and here everything looked like nothing bad happened.... As if time stopped. _Almanac._ On the one hand I wanted to stay here, but I knew it was impossible. I'd put Wanda's life in danger. But on the other hand... is it safe for her to stay here? Where I wanted to go from now on? I glanced at Stark, who was lost in a drugged sleep. His eyelids twitched, he still had a fever. On top of this, that thing on his chest was troubling me. What the fuck was that? 

"The nights are getting colder each day, winter is coming," her voice interrupted my thoughts. "We all should sleep next to each other to keep warm. Fireplace is not enough to keep us warm through the night." 

She was right. Winter was coming and it was getting colder. _A lot of people will die._ I remembered sleeping side by side when I was still a soldier in the army. It was during some mission on Siberia, a cold hell. To keep warm we squezeed in one room, I was always next to Steve. But now it wasn't a mission, after which I could return home. There is no home anymore. No place to go back. 

  
  
  
  
_**Are you making plans?**_  
_**Are you gonna try?**_  
_**This is your life**_  
  
_**Are you making plans?**_  
_**Are you gonna try?**_  
_**This is your life**_  
  
_**Every time I see I make these same mistakes**_  
_**Cause every time I think I finally found my way**_  
_**It's always the memories that make it hard to change**_  
_**It's only a memory**_ **  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Kellog, Fallout 4  
> ** - Stephen - Your Life : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYDV_pL8hMI
> 
> Don't get too attached to Wanda, she'll dissapear soon. Also Tony will wake up soon :)


	6. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You did everything to make Steve's dream come true... but at what price?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~First thought in the morning, and last thought in the night.~
> 
>  
> 
> Yeayea, irregular but I guess it's worth. I guess.

  
  


_**Sometimes following your heart means losing your mind**_

  
  
  


I woke up in a soft bed, the rays of the sun entered the room through the balcony window. I felt a familiar weight on my legs. I raised on my elbows and looked down. I saw a sleeping dog, a German shepherd I adopted from a shelter a long time ago... It felt like it happened centuries ago, in another life... I looked around uncertainly. A small bedroom in a blue color, the walls were covered with a tree painting. Steve made this. An alarm clock, phone and a watch were lying side by side on the nightstand. _This is my apartment._ I got up slowly, carefully not to wake the sleeping animal, and walked to the balcony window. The sun shone high in the sky, the city looked exactly as before the disaster. Crowded streets, cars standing in traffic jams, people rushing to work. I felt something wet trickle down my cheeks. _Tears._ I stood there... watching. I almost fell to my knees. Was this disaster just a bad dream? I lifted my head towards the ceiling, I wanted to scream. Is this a cruel joke? I swallowed my tears, turned around and went down the hall to the left, there was a kitchen. I put the kettle on and leaned against the cupboard countertop. I had an emptiness in my head, couldn't remember anything. All my memories vanished in a second. _How did I get here? Wasn't I somewhere else?_ For I moment I thought I should be now on my morning exercises. You know, in military base... And then, I suddenly felt soft, feminine hands embrace me from behind, a shorter body clings to my back. _What?_ It was alarming, I was living alone after all. _Thief?!_ I turned around like scalded. Steve's fiancee was standing before me. _Peggy... Why is she here?_ She smiled, put her hand on my cheek and closed the distance between us. When her face was just millimeters from mine, I wanted to push her away but I couldn't. Her lips were soft, the kiss was pure and innocent. I knew I shouldn't have done that, Steve would kill me for this... But... the truth was, that at some point I started to live in his shadow. I watched as he achieves success, how easily get along with others, as he meets someone important to him... as he is... happy. At the beginning enjoying his happiness was enough for me, but later... it got tough. I did get jealous, I wanted to be in his place... Peggy stroked my cheek like she just read my thoughts. _It's alright._ When she moved away, she no longer resembled herself. Before me stood a completely different person. Tony Stark. He grinned, and everything went dark. 

  


This time I woke up on a hard mattress, under a pile of blankets which couldn't protect me from the cold, fire in the fireplace was dying out. I had terrible headache, like my head was splitting in half. I could barely open my eyes. _It was just a dream. Another nightmare._ The world is still dead... and nothing can change that. 

  


Stark was cuddled up against my left side. He put his head on my shoulder, I could feel the weight of his leg on my stomach and somewhere on the chest lay his hand clenched in a fist. I covered him with a blanket that had fallen from his shoulders and hugged him tightly, so he would stay warm. He purred in response, and I just smiled. I touched his forehead with back of my right hand, it was still hot and sweaty. He still had a fever, but it was better than day before. And with each day it'll only get better. Although it was early in the morning, I haven't noticed Wanda and Pietro. Perhaps they left... I also should get up, take some headache powders, check the area, change Stark's bandages and make him a poultice. However, he was glued to me like a bur and I didn't want to wake him up. The more sleep he gets now, the faster he will recover. For a moment I completely forgot about my hatred for this man. I allowed myself to forget he destroyed our world. Lost in deep, feverish sleep he looked so innocent. I don't know when I fell asleep again. 

  


More or less, that's how my life looked from now on, at least for a full two weeks. I slept, woke up, ate something and went to bed again. Stark was still unconscious, Wanda with Pietro were leaving in the morning and coming back late. Sometimes when I wasn't asleep I was sitting with my back against the wall and stared straight ahead. I wondered what Steve was doing now and if everything is fine with him. He was probably worried about me, maybe he was even looking for me... I just had hope Headhunters haven't came up with the idea to chase after me. They had no reason. _Yet._ They didn't know that I'm with Stark. If they knew, Steve would be in danger. Maybe he was already dead... _No._ What I actually wanted to achieve? More and more doubts slipped into my mind. I should have killed Stark, back then in the garage. Now, however, it was too late. 

"Wake up, sleepyhead," I heard a familiar voice, but I just turned to the other side. I wasn't planning to get up. Wanda, however, didn't give up and took away my blankets. Then Pietro grabbed the sleeve of my hoodie and began to pull. Willingly or not, I had to get up. She looked at me, rolling her eyes. "We're running out of medicine supplies and wood, need to get more. Will you help? Actually, you have no choice, my friend." 

"We'll leave him here alone?" I raised my eyebrows surprised, glancing at Stark. 

"Of course not, you fool. Pietro will stay with him." 

I didn't think that it was a good idea, but I said nothing. Maybe already then I didn't care what will happen with him, with me and everything around. I shrugged, put on a denim jacket and followed Wanda. We passed a couple of half-demolished blocks, then turned somewhere and again we passed the ruins. To be completely honest, I remember little of this. I was walking behind her not caring about anything. When we were on the site of a former pharmacy, Wanda gave me one of the two bags which she took from home. We started to browse the cabinets and lockers in search of medical products. To my surprise we found quite a lot of them here. We took a set of bandages, syringes, painkillers and other crap. We packed all this into a bag Wanda was holding. 

"Are you always such a clam?" she asked as we walked again hell knows where. I didn't answer and when she turned to me, I just shrugged. She gave me a resigned look and shook her head. "Who were you before all this, my friend?" 

"Soldier," I said uncertainly. Was I really? Maybe it was just a stupid dream. 

"Soldier..." she repeated with curiosity in her voice. "And more specifically? Officer, pilot? Have you been on some missions? Tell me something about yourself." 

"Master Sergeant of ground forces," I replied, this time without hesitation. "I've been on several missions, precisely four, the fifth was interrupted by... end of the world. Nothing interesting, unless you like to hear about the dead." 

"The dead, huh?" again, she turned to me and gave me a warm smile. "There are plenty of them here in these ruins. I'm not afraid of the dead, and neither should you. They cannot harm anyone anymore. It's the living you have to fear." 

_It's the living you have to fear_ \- so she said. And shit, she was right. When we have come to a strange place, which could once be a furniture store, we began to break the door of the cabinets and push the remnants into the bag. I mean – mainly I broke the wood, bionic hand seemed to have no limits. We also took some old newspapers and several books. Everything that could be suitable for a firewood. I sat on one of the couches, breaking the wood into pieces. I noticed a smashed motorcycle outside the building, on the other side of the street. I felt a painful twinge in my chest. 

"I joined the army together with my friend," I said after a while, don't know why. The sound of broken wood suddenly stopped. She listened. 

"The one on batteries?" she asked, coming closer. 

"No," I hesitated for a second. "Another. It was about six-seven years ago. He was then a frail and often sick. Same shit happened in military, he was weak after all. But they let him join and that was most important, it was his dream. He served as a helper, they didn't let him do anything else... I always stood in his defense when others bullied him. The missions in which we have participated... well, we often just sat on our asses. Steve couldn't go anywhere in his state, but he was pretty good when it came to planning and strategy. I tried to help him as much as I could. I'm happy I didn't ruin it. I almost didn't get into army... almost..." 

"How come? For what reason?" she sat down and looked at me curiously. 

"A few months before joining the ranks I've caused an accident. Fatal. I killed two people," I became dumb for a moment, biting the inside of my cheek. "I was young, just got my motorcycle driving license and bought my first machine for money I earned during the summer break. I got drunk, I got on a motorcycle and rode... I don't think I turned on the lights, don't remember. Something happened. I went around a corner at high speed, too late noticed a car. The driver wanted to get past me... rode into a tree. Nothing happened to me, just a few bruises, but they... It was a woman and man... Perhaps they could survive this, I don't know. I ran away." 

"You didn't try to help them?" 

"No. I was shocked, I was scared... I don't know. If somebody found out that I caused a fatal accident, and that I was drunk I would have to say goodbye to the uniformed career. I did it partly for myself and Steve. He wanted this so badly... and I wanted him to be happy. You know... we both grew up in an orphanage. Kids there live on dreams." 

"Where is he now? Did he...?" she put her hand on my shoulder, didn't finish her question. _Is he dead?_ No. At least, not yet. 

"No. He's home, but I can't go back there. I'd put him in danger. Besides... now he can perfectly care about himself all alone. He changed a lot since those days..." 

"Someone's chasing you, right?" 

"You could say." 

"Both of you," she corrected after a while. "Are you and he...? You know... together?" 

"Huh?" I looked at her, not understanding. After a moment I realized what she wanted to ask, I frowned. "I'm not gay." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to... Just you look so sweet together when you sleep. I thought that there is something between you two. If you don't..." 

"I'm not gay," I repeated, maybe too sharply. I pushed the last pieces of the wood into the bag, zipped it and left the building. After this conversation I kept myself away from Stark. I slept on the other side of the fireplace. Alone. 

  


We no longer came back to the topics from that day. I again fell silent, spoke only when I really had to. Can't say I was comfortable with it. I felt bad. I tried with all my strength not to think about Steve. When I needed to talk, I waited until Wanda and Pietro came out of the house and disappeared from sight. Then I told endless stories to still unconscious Stark. Although two weeks had passed, he didn't wake up. Day after day I changed his dressings and cleaned the wounds. I tried to avoid this mechanism on chest though. Sometimes I couldn't sleep. Quite often I was haunted by the nightmares. Once I fell asleep from exhaustion next to Stark. Wanda and Pietro found me the same evening when they returned home. I thought she will make some stupid comments, but she said nothing. I even grew to like her and treated her like a younger sister. The idyll lasted until the end of October. Then... something happened. 

  


I haven't slept since four in the morning, something bothered me. Some very unpleasant feeling filled my heart. Wanda, Pietro, and of course Stark - slept like logs at the fireplace. Because of that I kept throwing wood into the fire to keep them warm. There was a disturbing silence all around, broken only by the sounds of burning wood. There was no wind, it looked like it was going to rain, but it didn't. I couldn't sit still, I started pacing in circles. I thought I was starting to freak out so I took my jacket and went outside to breathe fresh air. I was walking slowly around the area but I couldn't calm down. My heart started pounding like crazy. And then I saw something. Flashlights in the distance, I heard also a tons of curses. I stopped in a place, even though my mind kept telling me to run. I felt approaching troubles. Someone shouted to me, someone turned the light in my direction, someone fired from a gun. _Headhunters._ I jumped up and rushed as fast as I could to Wanda's home. I tugged her arm so hard it was surprising I didn't break it. She woke up immediately and looked at me with big, frightened eyes. Pietro also stared at me. 

"We have to run, Headhunters are coming here. They saw me," I noticed a glimpse fear in her eyes, but after a moment it was replaced with determination. She didn't say a word, just shoved a bag with medicines and dry eatables into my hands, then she took the blankets. I hastily picked up Stark and we left the house. 

  


I don't know how long we ran head, I followed Wanda and Pietro. Behind us we heard screams. They were literally on our tail. When the noise grew even louder, Wanda grabbed my arm and pulled me into a nearby building. 

"We need to... to... to separate..." she snapped, barely catching her breath. "Otherwise... they'll catch us... Listen... we'll run out first...me and Pietro... You hide here and wait until they'll be gone... then you go the other way..." 

"They'll catch you," I muttered, not very happy with this plan. 

"They can try. We'll be fine. They'll catch us if we don't split," she said in a serious voice. It looked like she knew what she was saying so I decided to trust her. I just nodded, saying nothing. She smiled, giving me two blankets. "We'll probably won't see each other anymore, Bucky. Though... who knows. Take care of your friend and don't get killed." 

She looked at me for the last time, Pietro barked quietly and they rushed out. When I hid both me and Stark in the hollow of one of the walls I saw running headhunters. Among them I saw a man in the familiar mask. _Crossbones._ I think it was a miracle that none of them noticed two people trying to hide so close to them... I felt as all my strength leave me, as my legs start to shake and finally as the tears come to my eyes. People with whom I used to work, now hunted me. How ironic. Unsteadily I walked to the exit and looked around. I saw no one, I could barely hear their footsteps. I reached for a small bag and ran outside. The other way. 

  


Truthfully, I have no idea where I was, and more, I didn't know where I was going. I only knew that I had to flee. I ran so long until the first rays of the sun blinded me. Then I stumbled. I didn't fall, but it was the sign I really needed to rest. I stopped, trying to catch my breath. My lungs ached and I couldn't feel my own legs. I was exhausted, I dragged myself into some old building. I broke down the doors to a small flat and stepped inside. I put Stark on the dusty couch. What will happen to Wanda and Pietro? What if they gets caught? What about Steve? Are they all dead? I sat down, feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks. I was so sick of all this... I wanted to sleep. For good, so I wouldn't had to wake up anymore in this mad world. I glanced at Stark, he was still unconscious. Beard covered his face, he could use a razor. I probably needed to shave too... Helplessness was soon replaced with rage. I leaned over him and hit his arm with my right fist. Wet drops fell from my cheeks onto his. 

"It's all your fault, you fucking son of a bitch!" I shouted, my voice breaking. Once again, I hit him. Not hard, it was just a weak blow. I held my bionic hand away for a while, but then I slipped it under Stark's body. I couldn't hurt him after all this. I sacrificed everything I had for him. And what for? Why I did this? I didn't understand it myself. And now I couldn't stop crying. Rage mixed with weakness. At some point, my forehead touched his shoulder. I closed my eyes. Being completely exhausted, not knowing what to do, I allowed myself a moment of weakness. I lay down on the unconscious man, it wasn't very comfortable but I didn't care anymore. It was the first time Wanda used my name back there, when we were running. Before I fell asleep I faintly spoke only three words. "I hate you." 

  


I felt as someone stroked my head and was playing with my hair. It was damn pleasant feeling, murmur of satisfaction escaped my throat. Hand that was stroking me, slid down to my cheek and caressed it. Thumb moved across my lips. Then I realized I lay on someone. Steve? Did I get home? Are we safe? That thought was disturbingly delightful. I snuggled up to second body even more. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was afraid that when I do, all the magic will disappear. I was afraid it was a dream, and as soon as I wake up I will have to fight for survival once more. Maybe I died? I felt like I had sand under my eyelids, they were swollen from crying. I opened them slowly, trying to get used to the blinding bright light. I frowned, feeling the pain in my body. It wasn't a dream, I haven't died either. Then what is this? I lifted my head slightly and looked straight ahead. A pair of chocolate eyes stared calmly at me. 

"Stark," I whispered with a hoarse voice, feeling as fear overwhelms me. 

  
  
  
  
_**Wake up and look me in the eyes again**_  
 _ **I need to feel your hand upon my face**_  
 _ **Words can be like knives**_  
 _ **They can cut you open**_  
 _ **And then the silence surrounds you**_  
 _ **And haunts you**_ *  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Stateless - Bloodstream
> 
>  
> 
> Ahhh, the weirdest part begins.


	7. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's not quite right... From one extreme to another. From hate to... to what, exactly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That "Rhodey part" was so weird so write...

  
  
_**You saved him... But maybe... he saved you.** _  
  
  


"That thing on your chest. What is it?" I asked, breaking a long silence. 

Few hours had passed since I woke up and it was already an evening. I found a few candles in the apartment to brighten the coming darkness. Stark was still lying on the couch, this time covered with a blanket and not me. I took some food out of the bag – most of this were instant soups, and I had no idea where to get hot water... but I also managed to find a pack of crackers. I threw it in Stark. I should also change his bandages - as usual - but somehow... I felt embarrassed. So I put a fresh bandages, hydrogen peroxide, tablets and cotton swabs on the table. 

"It's Arc Reactor," he said with a hoarse voice. "It keeps me alive." 

I raised my eyebrows, looking at him questioningly. I didn't understand. Stark was sick? He noticed my glance, opened a packet of crackers and continued. 

"The missiles fell on my house, one exploded right under my nose. It damaged me a bit... I have shrapnel near my heart, reactor keeps it in place so it won't kill me. If not for this reactor... I'd probably die within few minutes," he lowered his voice, sitting up. He shared a secret with me that could endanger his life. I didn't know how to react. I sat next to him thinking about what he said. Could I really blame him for everything that happened? After all, he almost died... killed by his own weapon. If this thing would ever get damaged... I suddenly felt as he put his head on my shoulder and hugs me. I couldn't push him away. "Cold..." 

"Aren't you scared of me?" I asked out of nowhere, focusing my gaze on the wall before me. 

"Why should I be scared?" 

"Do you remember what happened in that garage? In Stark's Tower?" 

"...I remember," he replied after a moment of silence and sighed. "You wanted to strangle me and almost succeeded. However, it was you who took me out of there. Looking at all this medical equipment, you took care of me. I doubt you did all of this just to kill me once I wake up. I'm weak, I can't defend myself. You could kill me here and now." 

"Maybe I count on a fair duel." 

"Heh, this is also not an option. Overall, I'm weak and can't do anything without my toys. Right now I don't have a single one, I'm an easy target. But you know it already." 

But I know it already... It was true. Since the day I took him from the Tower, I didn't intend to harm him. I carefully treated his wounds and cared for him. I didn't have to do this, I could just leave him and go back home... but I _wanted_ to stay. I wanted to look after him. I told myself I did this only because I had questions to answer. Partly it was the reason. But something was missing in my life, and he happened to be at hand... Did I miss Steve this much? Maybe. I'm terribly selfish, huh? I have to get rid of him, I'm starting to lose my fucking mind. I don't know what's happening to me. He is my enemy. I sighed, pushed him away and covered tightly with a blanket. Then I laid down next to him. He cuddled up against me, muttering under his breath and put his hands around my waist. I felt a bit... awkwardly, my throat went dry. 

"We'll have to get out of here as quickly as possible. Like tomorrow," I whispered, stroking his hair. 

"I know a safe place where we can go. Where we _**HAVE TO**_ go. You can leave me there and continue to walk your own path. I know babysitting me is last thing you want to do." 

"I have a few questions..." 

"I know, you will get your answers soon enough. Don't worry." 

  
  
  


We set off to that safe place the next morning. At first, Tony didn't want to talk, so we just packed our things and marched. All around was full of destroyed buildings, making it difficult journey, a few times we had to turn back or go around the whole place. And sometimes we had to climb over the rubble to reach the other side. We didn't take longer breaks than five minutes. Overall it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. 

"Where are we going?" I asked jumping from a block of stone. 

"Safe place," Stark said, with a cheerful voice. 

"And more specifically?" 

"To the Auntie May," he said, turning to me and gave me a warm smile. "We'll have a hot meal and a rest as soon as we get there, then you can go and do whatever you want. Trust me." 

"Trust you?" I snorted, putting my hands on hips. 

"From the two of us it's you who cannot be trusted, James." 

"How do you know my name? I don't remember telling you this," I frowned, looking at him. I won't lie, it troubled me. 

"I know a lot about you. For example, your full name is James Buchanan Barnes and you're a Headhunter, one of the best. Or worst, depends from which side you look at it.Before the disaster, you served in the army, in unit which was supplied with my rocket launchers. Colonel, right? Or non-commissioned officer, I don't remember. I can be wrong." 

"Master Sergeant," I corrected, carefully watching him. 

"Yeah. Right. You have a friend, Steven Rogers, you know each other since childhood, and so on. You served together in army. Currently you live with him. Your metal arm is a gift from the Headhunters, right? That's why you're working for them. Well, I came up with this. I wasn't sure, but I bet your arm has something to do with them. You like plums and hot chocolate. Spicy-sweetish dishes and flavored vodka. Once you liked to read science fiction books and watch horror movies... So..." he came up to me and put his hand on my chest. "...Your name is not a mystery to me." 

"How..." I started, but he shook his head. I fell silent, waiting for some kind of explanation. 

"All the information can be found in XERRA. The data are taken from your head, and I have access to it. Reading yours was quite pleasant." 

"And it just so happens that just know everything about _ME_? Or you browse everything and memorize? Sorry, I don't buy it." 

"Would you believe if I told you you're special?" 

"And it's me who cannot be trusted... I don't like it. I know about you just as much as they said on TV and-" 

"I could tell you about myself," he interrupted and sighed, turning away from me. He moved forward slowly, I followed him. "What I like, what I don't. What is my hobby, I could recite poems about my love to coffee... but what for? You don't care about it. You have questions and thanks to them I'm still breathing, so let it be like this for a while. We will get to the safe place, I will explain everything and our paths will diverge. I don't want to die, James. I really don't want to." 

"I don't want to kill you," I was surprised at how fast I said this. "I wanted. But not anymore." 

He didn't answer. For the rest of the way he said nothing about this. Instead, he talked about some total bullshit like why the color red is better than blue. Perhaps he didn't trust me to the point he thought I could kill him straight after I get my stupid answer. He said he's not scared of me, but in reality... he was. He acted reasonably and even though I knew it, I felt a strange pain in my chest. A part of me wanted Stark to trust me... 

  
  
  


We arrived at the safe hiding place in the evening. Legs ached so much that if it weren't for the serum circulating in my veins I'd never get up from bed the next day. We stood in front of a large house with white brick walls and red roof. The paint was peeling off here and there, walls were covered with bullet holes, but it was a beautiful house. The lawn was evenly trimmed and revealed that someone lives here and takes care of the place. Houses which stood next to this were long time abandoned, empty and haunted by their dead owners. Stark knocked on the door several times, and when I was about to tell him that no one is there, the door opened. We saw a fine elderly woman, strands of curly dark hair fell over her face on which were painted disbelief and surprise. 

"Tony! We thought you were dead! Thank God..." she sobbed, embracing Stark. She hugged him so tightly like she wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream. "I was so worried..." 

"...'re chokin'... me..." brunet croaked, gasping for breath. 

"I'm sorry," she replied, pulling away from him. Just then she noticed me and looked at me with tears in her eyes. "And who is that?" 

"Auntie, it's... James," Stark said slowly, as if trying to find a fitting answer. I took a step forward, I wanted to greet her and fully introduce myself but I didn't have a chance. I was a victim of the same grip as Stark moment earlier. 

"Rhodey?! God, you're alive!" the woman screamed, straight into my ear. Rhodey? Who the hell is _Rhodey_? She must have mistaken me with him. But even when she let go of me, she didn't give me a chance to explain this mistake. She grabbed us both and pulled quickly inside the house. "So many good news today. Go to the living room, I'll bring you something to drink." 

Tony led the way, behaved unnaturally quiet. It was only as he sat in the corner of the sofa, I noticed an emptiness in his eyes. His eyes... looked like they were dead, and their owner was deeply engrossed in his own thoughts. It was a disturbing sight. I sat down next to him, watching him. 

"Who is this _Rhodey_?" I asked, wanting to clarify this issue before the coming of the older woman. _Auntie May._ Yes, of course. Auntie May. Stark flinched, realizing that he's not alone in the room. 

"My best friend," he replied after a moment and burried himself in the couch, embracing his legs with arms. I wanted to ask another question, but the woman managed to come back with two mugs full of hot, fragrant tea. 

"Unfortunately I don't have sugar..." she said apologetically and looked at Stark, smiling slightly. "I don't have coffee either... I hope you don't mind a bitter tea." 

"I..." I began, trying to get back to the topic and explain who am I, however, Stark interrupted me. 

"It's fine. Rhodey won't mind too," I looked at him menacingly, frowning. What the hell? He gave me indifferent look and shrugged. 

"Drink up, warm up and rest a little. Your room is waiting for you, Tony. I'll inform the rest about your arrival," she said, and soon again disappeared from sight. Stark took his cup of tea and looked at it with those dead eyes. 

"Why didn't you tell her who am I?" I asked, feeling... I don't know, deceived? Furious? Confused? All at once? 

"Why? It's easier this way." 

"What if the real Rhodey come here?" I frowned again, trying to imagine such a situation. It doesn't make sense. 

"He won't come." 

"How can you be this certain? He'll learn you have been found and he'll get here as soon as he can." 

"...dead cannot walk, James. Rhodey is dead," he said dryly, his voice emotionless. Pain danced in his eyes. At this point, I felt oddly stupid. I wished I could take back all I've just said. Still... pretending someone I'm not? In addition, Stark's best friend... Auntie didn't remember the guy or we look this similiar? Or maybe she never saw him? 

"I'm sorry," I muttered, but I really wanted to scream. What have I gotten myself into? 

Stark didn't respond. He put the cup back on the table, turned to the side, facing the back of the sofa and curled up. He looked like he wanted to sleep... as if he wanted all this to end like a bad dream in the morning. I knew this, the way how he felt. So many times I felt the same way... _No, I never felt the same way._ I had Steve... I couldn't imagine pain of losing him. I bit the inside of my cheek and put a hand on Stark's shoulder. 

"Tony..." it was the first time that I used his name. 

"Don't touch me," he growled, his voice cracking and knocked off my hand from his arm. When I touched him again, he raised himself and wanted to hit me. We fought a bit, tears ran down his cheeks. Finally I grabbed his arms and hugged him tightly. For a while he kept hitting me on the sides with his fists, but I didn't let him go. I held him untill he calmed down. For a long time he was shaking and crying. Then he gave up and his body went limp in my arms. _You're trying to be tough, but under this shell there is a sensitive guy. You also have enough of the hell you happened to live in..._

"It's all my fault..." he whispered, before he fell asleep from exhaustion. 

  
  
  


The previous day I asked Auntie May where is Tony's room and took him there. She offered me a hot meal, but I had Tony sleeping in my arms and I also was tired. Whole time I tried to play the role of Rhodey. The room had a large bed, anf of course some small sofa in the corner – but I didn't even thought about using it. I've slept with this guy so many times it made no difference anymore. I slipped under the covers and hugged him. 

Next day Stark's allies were supposed to come here. His small group. Do they also never seen Rhodey? Unlikely. What if someone will realize I'm not him? Tony purred and rubbed his cheek against my collarbone, as if sensing my fear. I smiled and scratched him behind the ear, like a cat. He was not asleep, he glanced at me sideways. 

"Good morning," he murmured, which caused even wider smile on my lips. I don't know why, I was just glad he was next to me. 

  
  
  


My fears were confirmed when me and Tony came down from the second floor down to the living room. A group of four sat there, red-haired beauty among them. She stiffened at the sight of me, she knew who I was. The fear in her eyes betrayed her. Next to her right sat a black man, he waved friendly at me. So he knew nothing. Just as a very young boy sitting on an armchair. On the left side of her, however, sat a blonde guy, who raised an eyebrow in surprise. He didn't have any sort of fear in eyes, perhaps he didn't know who I was, but certainly he knew Rhodey and noticed it wasn't me. Red-haired woman suddenly stood up and quickly walked over to us, caught us by the arms and led to the kitchen. 

"What is _he_ doing here?!" she asked Tony, pointing at me with her hand. "Tony, he's dangerous." 

"Listen..." he began, but I cut him off immediately. 

"No more dangerous and suspicious than you." 

"Shut up. Nobody asked about your opinion. What are you doing here? Are you spying on us? You want to sell information to your mates where Tony is hiding? What are your intentions?" 

"Natasha! He brought me here," Tony said. "I was wounded, I went back to the tower in search of medicine. _He_ found me and took care of me." 

" _He_?" she asked in disbelief. "You have to be joking..." 

"It's true," I confirmed, leaning against the table. 

"What's up with this Rhodey stuff... Auntie May said you came with him, Tony..." 

"Yes, I know. I didn't want to make a fuss. I didn't want to explain what happened to him... It still hurts me. I didn't want to explain who is my new companion and how I met him. They share name. She took him for Rhodey herself, she never seen him, only heard stories... I thought it will be easier if James will play Rhodey." 

"You can't lie forever, Tony. You will need to explain this..." 

"Later." 

"Alright. I'm glad to see you. I was so worried..." she hugged him, kissed his temple and stroked his hair. 

  
  
  


I thought all the surprises were behind me. I couldn't be more wrong. Around noon came another guest, just at the time when I took a shower. I washed away all the dirt, cleaned my hair and for several minutes I sat on the floor wrapped up in a towel. I tried to sort things up in my head, I had real chaos there. If I ever had doubts whether Natasha works with Stark... now I don't. So they were looking for that Almanac. I really tried to focus on this but I couldn't. I kept seeing that one moment when she hugged him. I felt quite unpleasant pain in my chest. Where was she when he needed her?! 

Once I fixed myself, I went downstairs with still wet hair. Tony stood and spoke to someone, in one hand he held a sandwich. I walked closer and felt as chills ran down my spine. I knew this guy. I even worked with him. It was none other than Crossbones himself. Without thinking I rushed between them, grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket with my metal arm and pushed him against the wall. 

"What are you doing here?!" I snapped, tugging him. 

"And what are you doing here?" the same question echoed from his mouth. I felt furious. 

"James, calm down," I heard a voice from behind. 

"Tony, he's a Headhunter! I know him! He sold us many information about you!" I spitted out, almost shouting. 

"No matter how you look at this, you're also a Headhunter," Crossbones laughed, grinning. 

"I'm not like you." 

"No, you're much worse," after these words I hit his body against the wall. 

"What are you doing here?!" I snapped again. 

"James..." Tony put his hand on my back and stroked me reassuringly. "Brock is a friend, not an enemy. He always been..." 

"Tony, he's not a friend... he... he..." I stammered, searching for words in my head. What was I saying? Phone... _You cannot help him_. _Where is Brock?_ JARVIS called him, expecting him to help Tony... The world spun before my eyes. I let go and Crossbones fell back, I looked at Tony. "...he is a Headhunter..." 

"Just like you." 

  
  
  
  
_**You call my name**_  
_**I come to you in pieces**_  
_**So you can make me whole**_  
  
_**I've come undone**_  
_**But you make sense of who I am**_  
_**Like puzzle pieces in your hand**_ *  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Red - Pieces
> 
>  
> 
> Is Crossbones Stark's _shield_? We'll see soon!
> 
> Feedback appreciated!


	8. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- What is Almanac?  
> \- Who is _shield_?  
>  \- Crossbones is being a dick  
> \- Hawkeye is smart  
> \- Beginning of the _minor relationship_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone loves Hawkeye.  
> I haven't stripped Bucky off his Winter Soldier mode. It's there somewhere.

  
  
  
_If you're the one to run, I'll be the one you run to._ *  
  
  


A few days later we all were sitting together in the living room. They wanted to talk about what to do with me. After all, I was a Headhunter and simply letting me go wasn't an option. At least for now. Auntie May was sitting in a large, comfortable armchair. She was already informed about _fake Rhodey_ , it was Natasha who explained her all this crap. At first she was surprised and didn't want to believe it, but then stated I'm such Headhunter as she is balerina... and no matter how to look at this, I saved Tony's life and I deserved respect. I had no idea what to think about it. 

During those few days I didn't have a chance to talk with Tony. He appeared for a few minutes and disappeared, promising he'll explain me everything soon... _but right now he has no time._ He came to the room late at night, tired and despite the fact that he took a shower, he still smelled of motor oil. I found out that I couldn't fall asleep without him being next to me... Weird habit, maybe? And when I woke up, he was already gone. 

"You can't just throw him out," Auntie May's firm voice broke my thoughts. "He saved Tony. He has the right to be here as any of you." 

"It doesn't change the fact that he's a Headhunter and shouldn't be here at all," said Crossbones, who was standing against the wall with arms folded across his chest. I still had trouble to call him by his name, so I sticked with his codename. 

"Well, it's yours fault," said the blonde man. His name was Clint Barton, but everyone called him _birdie_ or _hawkeye_. Later, I learned why. Guy played an archer, he had several shooting targets behind the house. I won't lie, he wasn't this bad... Ok, he was pretty good. When I asked him why he's not using guns, he just said that bows are way more quiet and more efficient. "If you didn't leave your phone in that shit place like a total retard, nothing would have happened." 

"If his mother taught him he shouldn't just answer someo-" 

"What if Red Skull picked that phone instead of _him_? Have you thought about this for a moment?" 

"But he didn't!" 

"But he could!" 

" **SHUT UP!** " Auntie May screamed, death glaring at both of them. "You act like kids. It happened and cannot be undone. Even if I knew from the beginning that he wasn't Rhodey, I wouldn't kick him out." 

"Maybe we should vote what to do with him? Who agree we should kick him out?" Crossbones asked, raising his hand up. 

"Maybe we should just leave this decision to Tony," Natasha said, looking from Crossbones to Tony. Tony was sitting on the second armchair, he was awfuly quiet. He looked like he was absent minded, didn't even touch his tea. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for a few days in a row. It bothered me to the point I wanted to walk up to him and ask what's wrong, if he needed something. I wanted to hug him, to caress him... My own thoughts began to frighten me. What the fuck is wrong with me? 

"I won't kick him," Tony said after a a while. "He can stay as much as he wants. And if he decide he want to leave I won't stop him. He'll always be able to come back here. And he will be welcomed. That's all I have to say about it." 

He got up and slowly walked out of the room. As if in a trance, I also got up and walked out after him, with all eyes on my back. They were watching me carefuly, I felt it through my skin. I realized what I was doing, at the end of the corridor when Tony turned to me. I've seen an emptiness in his brown eyes, which shouldn't be there. He should be happy, he should smile, should... 

"Something's wrong?" I just asked. 

"Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired." 

"You should sleep more." 

"I'm working on something. You want to see?" 

"Sure." 

  


He took me to his _mini-workshop_ , which was in the garage at the back. I expected it to be dark in here, in the end there was no electricity, but I was wrong. All lamps were turned on, and in the corner of the room something was softly humming. An engine? Along the walls stood a row of computers – all working. On the left side of the ceiling hung a... red armor. Or whatever it was. 

"Hello, Boss," a warm, feminine voice came from... well, from where? I looked around confused and Tony laughed. It was soft and sincere laugh. 

"Meet FRIDAY, my second AI," he said proudly. "Hello, Babe." 

_The second AI._ Well, first had to be this whole JARVIS, right? But what happened to him? I walked over to one of the tables and picked up an object, which resembled what Tony had on his chest. _Arc Reactor._ It was connected with wires to the strange armor hanging from the ceiling. 

"You making a weapon?" I asked still staring at the strange object. "For what?" 

"The people who stole the Almanac are still out there somewhere. I have to get it back. At all cost," he replied in a whisper. 

"What is this Almanac?" 

"It's a weapon. Double edged one. It's the Almanac that destroyed the world, it was stolen and used in the wrong way." 

"You want to say that I was looking for a weapon that destroyed our world? You kiddin', right?" I frowned and turned to Tony, still holding the Arc Reactor in my hands. I noticed his gaze closely follows my left hand movements. 

"Almanac... can rewind time," he looked as if he were about to cry. "I made it to bring my parents back to life. They had an accident years ago. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I could bring our world back, James. Undo the catastrophy." 

"Are you sure it will work the way you want it to and not destroy what's left?" 

"I created it," he said firmly, as tears ran down his cheeks. "Once I'll find it then Rhodey... then I could fix this..." 

"Come here," I put the reactor back on the table and reached out my hands to Tony. He looked at me surprised, but took a few hesitant steps forward and I caught him in my arms. You have no idea how happy I was when I held him tightly. That was so wrong. Does hugging really can bring so much joy? On the one hand, I didn't understand this and felt a bit silly. And on the other... I didn't want to let him go, my heart was pounding like crazy. I thought Tony is just becoming as close to me as Steve was. You know, a friend. But around Steve I didn't feel so... weird. Also I'm sure as hell I was never glued to him as I am to Stark. Something is wrong. 

"James...?" 

"Call me Bucky." 

"Bucky...?" he pulled away from me and looked questioningly. 

"It's a nickname from childhood," I said. I was surprised that he didn't know this. Apparently, everything about me was in XERRA. He knew the finer details about me... Or maybe he forgot? It happens. I raised my right hand and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Tony looked tragic, how I couldn't noticed this? _You rarely saw him. And at night you can't really get a close look..._ \- a voice answered in my head. "You should get some sleep, Tony." 

"I don't have time for it..." 

"Let's do it like this... go to bed with me now, and tomorrow I will let you have fun with my arm," I smiled, waving my left hand in front of his nose. Sparks of fascination danced in his chocolate eyes. I really didn't like when someone messed with it. Everytime I had a _small maintanance_ I lost consciousness from the pain and don't know what happened after. All I know is that I woke up in a completely different place. Sometimes with blood on my clothes. 

"It sounded rather odd." 

"I didn't mean anything by it," I replied immediately, putting my right hand on the heart. "The word of a soldier." 

He smiled broadly and laughed. And God, his smile was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 

  
  
  


I sat outside, catching falling snow in my hands. Earlier, for a long time I was looking for Crossbones, but I found out he left us the same morning. He went to Headhunters' base. It was exactly three days after my conversation with Tony in his workshop. By the time Tony was sleeping more and the shadows under his eyes disappeared. For the first time my arm was subjected to maintenance to someone other than the guy from the base. I think I preffered Stark to take care of it. He was way more gentler and treated machines as living beings. 

"Alone outside? Trying to cool down?" someone's voice and muffled laughter came from behind. Then he walked up and sat down next to me on the stairs. It was Clint. "Tony is in the garage." 

"As always." 

"Well, since Rhodey's death he's a little bit worse. He blames himself for it. In the end, he created a weapon and that weapon killed his friend... So... what are you doing here?" 

"I was lookin' for Crossbones." 

"What for?" 

"I have a few questions for him," I said, rubbing snow between fingers of my flesh hand. "Well... only one." 

"Oh? And what is it?" he asked curiously. 

"How is it possible that the Red Skull never found out that he was Stark's _shield_. He had an eye on him for some time and-" 

"Brock was never a _shield_ ," Clint sighed and leaned back against the wall behind us. "How did you come to that?" 

I looked at him like on an idiot. Does he even know what I mean? Clint shook his head and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He held out his hand to me, but I refused. I don't smoke. I sat quietly, waiting for him to start explaining things, but when he spoke - he changed the subject. 

"Stark's charm got into you." 

"What?" 

"I've seen how you look at him. You like him," he smiled and winked at me, and I just frowned. 

"I'm not gay," I felt like I had _déjà vu_. I've said it already... 

"You would become gay for him." 

"Bullshit. I was never interested in guys. Tony is like... like Steve. My friend," I lied. Tony wasn't like Steve, there was a huge gap between them. Whole canyon. But I had no other explanation. I didn't fully understand it myself. 

"...yeah, right... It's terribly cold, you'd better go back inside before you'll turn into a snowman," Clint stood up and brushed himself off the snow. " _Shield_ is one of the Headhunters, you're right here. They both set foot in this house, but it's not Brock you're looking for. Your target is freezing up his fucking ass on stairs outside and plays with snow." 

"...what?" 

"Tony is still in the garage. If you really need a reason to go there, you could put some snow inside your left arm," he said before disappearing behind the door. It was the stupidest advice I got in my entire life. And I was even dumber because I've listened. 

  


"How is it possible that so much snow got inside?" Tony muttered, clearing the mechanism of my left arm. I won't lie, it hurt as fuck when I felt a short circuit, but it was worth it. 

"I slipped and fell into a snowdrift." 

  
  
  


Crossbones came back a few days later, with fatal news. I learned that the Red Skull turned everything upside down to find me. He already found Steve. Supposedly he didn't know I joined Stark, but it was just an assumption. He could have guessed that something was wrong. Once Crossbones mentioned Stevie, the world ceased to exist. I had only one thought in my mind: _I have to go back and save him._ I couldn't sit still, I walked around like a psycho when the rest made plans. Is that how Tony felt, when he found out that the missiles are heading towards his friend? 

"We should help his buddy," Clint said, toying with his glass of juice. 

"Do you know where is he now?" Natasha asked. 

"With Red Skull, helping him to find Barnes," Crossbones answered, sitting on the armrest of the chair which was taken by Tony. "In the headquarters, eventually patrolling around. The search always start early in the morning and end in the late evening. Red Skull doesn't allow him to leave base, so I bet we'll find him right there." 

"It's a long way, how you want to get there?" Natasha asked again. 

"I could fly there on my jetpack and take the guy with me. Nobody looks up at the sky anymore," a black man suggested. I think his name was Sam. 

"Honey, jetpack won't lift two people," Tony said and everyone looked at him. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest when he called that dude _honey_. "You would have to fly close to the ground." 

"And your armor? You said it will fly." 

"It's not ready. From the west, the streets are clean, there is a little debris. True, the road is also about three times longer but we have two motorcycles," Tony continued. "Bucky could take one, and someone would have to go with me. I pick Barton. Bucky, can drive a motorcycle?" 

" _Bucky_? That's how we should call you now?" Natasha asked, but I didn't answer. 

Motorcycle? I looked at Tony with eyes wide open. I think I already mentioned, I never touched a motorcycle after my accident years ago. And I wasn't going to. I still had that view before my eyes, the wreckage of a car that crashed into a tree so I could live. These people... they were still alive... if I had helped them... 

"No," I lied. 

"I could quickly teach him," Sam suggested, but I shook my head. Maybe I did it too quickly, or perhaps he noticed the panic in my eyes. "Then I will go instead." 

  
  
  


Two hours later, everything and everyone was ready to go on a rescue mission. I wasn't so sure about this as they were. I was worried about Steve, yes. I wanted to help him. But I also didn't want to let Tony go alone... I knew he will be together with his friends, but... My stomach ached, world was spinning before my eyes and I felt sick. I couldn't think of a motorcycle, I would never got on it again, but... 

I found Clint in the hallway, he was checking and rearranging his arrows. Bow was already hanging on his back. He smiled at me and hung quiver at his waist belt. 

"Sup, Buckster?" 

"Does Tony really needs to go with you? He can't stay?" I asked tentatively. I asked him, because something told me that our conversation will be just between the two of us. Besides, he had already guessed something... 

"Well, he insisted he'll go. He wants to check the headquarters to look for information about the Almanac. You really so scared of motorcycles?" he leaned his shoulder against the wall and watched me closely, seeing my expression he sighed. "I can promise you that I will have an eye on him and I won't let him get hurt. I'll bring him to you in one piece." 

"I... thank you." 

He put a hand on my shoulder and nodded before he left. And then, the only thing left for me was to wait, that drove me crazy. I lay down on the couch in the living room, Natasha turned on a DVD movie. I don't even remember what it was. I tried to figure out at which point Stark became so damn important to me... Back in the tower I wanted to kill him and I almost did it... and then... then I took care of him together with Wanda. _Ah, yes. Wanda. I totally forgot about her. I hope everything is fine with her..._ And then Tony woke up... and it happened. I never liked guys in such way, and the thought I could go to bed with one... it was disgusting. But with this specific one I had no problems... I was willing to do anything for him. And it scared me. I thought this weird feeling will go away with time, but instead it grew bigger and bigger. I felt like in a cage, which is getting tighter and I'm running out of air. Somehow I fell asleep after an hour of staring at the TV screen. 

  


They returned the same evening. Hearing the sound of the door opening and voices, I immediately woke up and jumped up from my place. Natasha, who was in the same room, looked at me with worried expression. I ignored her and ran into the hallway, tripping over my own feet. I heard laughter, energetic conversation and... Steve's voice. I took a few steps forwards. I saw him standing and holding Tony in his arms, whose trousers leg was torn, bloodied and heavily wrapped in a cloth. I had heart in my mouth. I wanted to ask what happened, but I couldn't utter a word. 

They left motorcycles maybe three hundred meters from Headhunters' place and when they had to run, they took a refuge in a building. Unfortunately, the ceiling collapsed and the debris fell on Tony, crushing his leg. Steve said it's only a few scratches and mild fracture without displacement. He also said not to worry. How to not fucking worry?! His leg was injured, because some retarded ceiling decided to fall on him... And what if... what if... _No._

Everything went dark. 

  
  
  
_**Stay**_   
_**I need you here for a new day to break**_   
_**Stay**_   
_**I want you near like a shadow in my wake**_   
  
_**It's the little things**_   
_**Little things**_   
_**Little things**_   
_**That make the world**_ **   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - Three Days Grace - The real you  
> ** - Poets of The Fall - Stay
> 
>  
> 
> Naaawwww Stony inc.


End file.
